14 February 2015

The Final Countdown--a love letter to my first born.

It seems only appropriate on this snowy Valentine's Day, and in the final few weeks of being a family of three, to reflect and reassure my littlest Valentine of the enormous amount of love that we have for him.  While changes are a comin', what will never change was how he was first to steal our hearts.



Our dearest Boo,

It goes without saying that from the moment you entered this world after nearly 40 hours of, let's just say 'intense', laboring, you captured our souls and taught us about a kind of love that we had never known existed.  You've been in this life for such a short span of time, and yet we have watched you grow and thrive so quickly...learning how to navigate among others, and be grown up in so many ways.  But, as I like to sometimes tell you, you're still just little.  You're still just my little boo, who loves to snuggle and cuddle and be held.   I cherish these moments knowing that in the distant future, you'll be too embarrassed to give me a kiss when you go into school or run at me full speed when I pick you up at the end of the day.

Big changes are coming...you've been king of our castle for 4 1/2 years.  We've done so many things, gone so many places, and we've weathered many a storm.  It's been just us and soon there'll be another.  Oh sure, we've been preparing you, and talking with you about how important being a big brother is, and how much help you're going to be, and you seem up to the challenge.  But we know there's a little bit of fear in you...fear of the new baby's arrival...what that will mean for our little familial constellation.  Please know this...Daddy and I love you more than anything else on this planet, and because you are such a marvelous, wonderful you, our hearts can only grow bigger to welcome another, who will no doubt bring us the same joy and laughter (and ok, let's be real for a second, frustration and tears!) that you have in such a short amount of time.

Your baby sister is going to need you. She's going to look to you when she needs advice, or needs help solving a puzzle. She's going to look to you to protect her and guide her.  She'll look to you when she's feeling frustrated with us.  You have such a big role to play. So as our hearts grow bigger, so will yours.  It may take her awhile to get into playing with "Green Hulk" et al, but you'll be there to show her.   And you, my sweet, will have to be patient when she wants you to sit and have a tea party with her.  Or when she wants to play dress up with you simply because it'd be funny to see her big brother in whatever princessy garb she throws your way.

As these final few weeks begin to tick away, I admit that I find myself scared too...scared of disrupting the almost perfect world we've created for ourselves with you...scared of the change (change is hard!) and scared of the uncertainty of what lies ahead.  Yet I know we'll weather it like we have everything else...together.  There is nothing more important than family, our family.  (and PLEASE, if you're going to impart any wisdom or habits of yours to your sister, please let it be your sleeping and eating habits...both of which are stellar.)  

Your baby sister is going to love you so much...you are, after all, our sweet boy, and your infectious smile and good nature will make her feel instantly welcomed and loved, because that's what you do, and that's who you are.

Happy Valentine's Day to you, our dear Garrett...now and always.
xo,
Mommy


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